Saturday, December 18, 2010


These blogs are supposed to be for rantings, ravings, random thoughts, and such..... right? Well here it goes......

I know it's been a LONG while since I have been on here. It seems to be a fad that faded quick. Facebook is the new thing, it's so much faster and easier to say what's on your mind, but every now and then I like to come to my blog and add a thing or two.

Lately it seems like alot is going on. I feel overwhelmed most of the time, like I'm the only one holding everything together. I know that's self-centered, and I'm not the only one, but it really seems to feel that way. Like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Like Melody for instance.....

I love my daughter to pieces, and nothing will ever change that, but no one told me parenting was so tough. She is a very easy child, compared to some that I have a work. But boy does she have a mind of her own. She is very persistent with the things she does, and she picks up on things very quickly. She knows how to turn lights on and off, she points at EVERYTHING, she says "Bye-Bye", "Daddy", and "Mommy". Along with a few other things we aren't quite sure of. lol But she really knows how to push ones buttons. I think one of the hardest parts of parenting for me is disciplining. I hate giving Melody spankings, but sometimes she needs them. I do not want a brat who doesn't listen and creates havoc all over the place. Nor do I want a child who is afraid to breath for fear of getting yelled at. How do you draw the line?

Another thing that seems to add to the stress is work. Why couldn't I be one of those lucky few mothers that don't have to work to get by? I wish I could be a stay at home mom, and spend all day with Melody instead of other people's children. I hate dropping her off every morning, and see her sad that I have to leave. Sometimes life just isn't fair. I think I need to play the lotto or something.

Why does life have to come at us so quickly and violently? Why can't it come in a slow, smooth motion? Why do we have to stress over everything? Why can't things happen the way we want them to? I guess life is full of "Why's" and "What ifs".

Just a little piece of what's on my mind.